The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
