On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
