It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
