I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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