What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
