i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
