I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
