I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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