cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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