Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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