I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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