I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
