They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
