The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
