census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
