he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my poor anus
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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