apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
