i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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