got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
