Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
