its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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