u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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