Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So much Jack, so little girl.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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