went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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