I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
