Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
