In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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