I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
