I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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