this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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