Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
