ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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