So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He did a backflip because drugs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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