I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
