She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
