they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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