I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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