she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
