Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
