Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
