i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
