Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
