He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
