ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
