we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
