The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Mom said you looked used
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
