C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
