i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
