Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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