She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
