My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
