i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
