I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
