Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
