i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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