I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
